with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize