I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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