That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Success! We fucked roommates!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
