So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
