I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
