So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
