Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
