I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize