He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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