pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
