Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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