Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
