he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
