he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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