I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
