the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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