just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
