I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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