so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
