If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
