ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
operation harelip BJ is a go
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize