made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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