Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
