Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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