It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
