We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize