she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
