Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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