i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
