Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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