i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
