I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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