nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm eating all of the evidence.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
