I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
