this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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