You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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