That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
