I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
