I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
