I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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