therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
