come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize