Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
