I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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