So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
