she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
