i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
