I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
