New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
