I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
