She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
