is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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