so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
