One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
