I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
